


Don't go. I'll eat you up, I love you so. ( Saeran x MC fic )

by binoclarde_420



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Dabs, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healthy Relationships, Love, Multi, My First Fanfic, Oops, Platonic Relationships, Relationship(s), and will sign ur papers, ayyy, funny?, go easy on me yall, healthy love, hopefully not too young, i take constructive criticism, i'll just tag it as funny then, nsfw language, okay go on my young reader, okay whatever stop reading the tags enjoy the story, slightly comedic, there, there is nsfw language in this, this story honestly made me laugh a little, uh, wait no, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:29:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binoclarde_420/pseuds/binoclarde_420
Summary: The love of your life was swooped out from under your feet, taken away from you on your last birthday. You know it's all your fault, too. But is it wrong? You enter your own mind today, exploring outside your home and being with friends. Despite all the outer distractions that should lure you from your thoughts, you seem to be attached. As if a single thread held onto you and he, the pain of being too far apart harmed the stitches. Can they be healed?





	Don't go. I'll eat you up, I love you so. ( Saeran x MC fic )

You woke up much later than anticipated, your heavy eyes checking the time. It was 1:03. You took a moment to hate yourself for sleeping so late. Lying on your back, you look at the ceiling as your arms shake lightly and the sadness in your heart brings you down. It wasn’t going anywhere, this sadness. It stayed, and it wouldn’t let you cry, despite wanting the relief so bad. It was as if a refrigerator was standing on your chest, crushing you under its weight. Unlike most human beings, you did not care.

You stood upright, your legs now starting to shake. Despite your body being groggy and empty, you felt very light, except for that heaviness in your chest. You moved with a fear of falling, skipping your morning routine and going downstairs. You walked past the kitchen, and straight to the living room. You would talk to someone, but nobody could help you with this. You would force yourself to do your routine, but you don’t want to. All you can do is let the soul-sucking thoughts of yesterday kidnap you and take you to its darkest realm.

Two days ago was your birthday, and you were having the best time with your five friends and your husband. You were all hanging out at a park, sitting under the shadows. Singing songs, playing with a guitar and sucking at it, eating hot dogs and chips, cracking jokes and complaining about the political system. It all went so wrong so fast, to the point where you had to call the police yesterday. It seemed to have gone by so fast, but maybe it hasn’t. In the moment, everything was slow and sure.

Your hand reaches to a DVD next to the TV, and as it does so, the sadness in your heart releases to occupy your whole body. You quiver as you look at the title, suppressing sobs. You and he had a favorite quote from this movie, you shared it often whenever one of you had to go. The last time you saw him, though, you didn’t. You knew he would be gone for a while, but you still refused to. You wish you told him, but you are glad that you had not.

“Don’t go. I’ll eat you up, I love you so.”

* * *

 

 _Today is another day of loneliness_ is all you can think as you squint your eyes towards the sunlight shining through your gray transparent curtains. You roll your body over until you face the spot next to your bed that's been empty for a year, breathing slowly. _At least he's safe_ is what you assume in your mind as your half-lidded eyes slowly open wider. It takes you a minute to remember that your friends are coming over at 11 to make sure you leave the house. You sit upright slowly, hunching over and rubbing the crust out of your eyes. You turn your head to your clock, blurry numbers indicating that it's 6:27 in the morning. You were used to waking up at 6 every morning for work, but they gave you a week off starting Sunday. Today is Wednesday. Before getting up, you stretch your body upward, cracking your back with swift swaying motions, and rolling your head to crack your neck.

The gentle patter of your bare feet against the cold wooden stairs disturbs your train of thought; you were trying to figure out when your husband will come home. You heard it was soon. Ever since he had to leave, every day felt longer than it should have. Every morning, you would roll over to face his side of the bed, hoping that he's there, sleeping peacefully and finally okay. You hoped that he wouldn't be as angry at you for what you did for him when he came home. He wasn’t himself when he left. You couldn't help but doubt that he'd be home this week considering that the stuff they took from him wasn’t sent home yet.

You pour your favorite cereal into a bowl with milk, pull a spoon out of a drawer next to your refrigerator, and walk to the couch. You turn the TV on and watch your recordings of your favorite show while eating. Your phone makes its notification sound, and you reach into the pocket of your soft pajama pants to look at the screen. It's your best friend. You’ve decided to mentally correct his grammatical and punctuation errors to make your life easier.

"Hey, y/n. I know you've been down ever since he left, and you don't really want to go out. Just wanted to let you know that we all agreed to take you home if you truly feel that you're uncomfortable outside the house. We're here for you." Your heart warms up with comfort, and you're secure knowing that you've made friends with the most supportive people on this planet. You didn't feel guilty when you had to refuse to do anything with them. They made it easy for you to be human. They avoided putting pressure on you. You did know that the only time you spent outside the house was to go to the bar the day after he left and to go to work. Today was the right day to be adventurous.

So you decided to tell him " I'll hang out today. Nothing better to do." You giggle to yourself, picturing the triumphant dance he could be doing as you notice he read your text.

It's 10:54, and you're peeling off the last bit of your blackhead mask. This was the first long shower you've taken in ages, and the first one you could really enjoy. You hear two car honks outside your house. You bounce while throwing off a heel to put on sneakers ( you were only wearing one heel to admire how tall you look with heels while staring at your reflection in your mirror ). You take your phone away from its charger before tip-toeing your way downstairs, putting your key in your bag, and locking yourself out of the house. You turn around, your head levitating and stomach curling, ready and nervous. You didn't expect to see your best friend's minivan empty. You walk around the car and get surprised by five friends lunging upwards, your best friend holding your birthday cake. You laugh, and your worries melt away for this moment.

"You didn't expect us to take you present shopping without cake first, did you?", your best friend,( who happens to be the brother of your husband ), says almost in an accusatory tone.

"You guys really scared me. I'm also a little shocked that you know my new favorite cake flavor.", you say, swiping a finger on the cake and taking a taste of the frosting.

"It's on your Facebook, y/n.", your only female friend points out.

"Oh.", You all giggle. You take a moment to absorb the realization that you've been on autopilot; updating social media and responding to posts, but never remembering what you did.

"Why do we all still use Facebook??? We're old!!!", bursts out your youngest friend, who's still in college. You suppose he’s starting to worry about his future.

"Y/n is now getting closer to being old. We should start driving to stores to celebrate before they die." says your oldest friend, a soft smile plastered on his face. You give a pity smile at his attempt to joke. He recognizes it. “I’m trying.”

"They're gonna love our gifts.", says your albino friend, almost in a way that makes his voice...stand out a bit more. You eye your friends suspiciously, then softly. Your oldest friend is Jumin Han, who's been a source of advice on how to be an adult. Your college friend is Yoosung Kim, who's actively been trying to keep you young and sometimes comes over to cook for you when your depression prevents you from getting up. Your only female friend, Jaehee Kang, provides coffee for you every morning while you're on your way to work; basically, she keeps you awake. Your albino friend Zen's a sweetheart who's struggled with anxiety and dysphoria, and gives you advice on how to manage your mental health. Your best friend, Saeyoung Choi, has been there to make you laugh and to support you in the right direction when you don't even know what's right. You've done the same for him. You've done the same for his brother, too. Saeyoung places the cover back on the cake and puts it in the trunk as you all get in the car. Saeyoung sits in the driver’s seat, as he tells you all to “buckle up!”. Yoosung fearfully and quickly does so. The rest buckle up calmly.

"So, I thought you only had sports cars, Saeyoung.", says Jaehee curiously.

"Nah... that's in my first garage.", he replies.

"How many garages do you have?", Yoosung questions. Saeyoung doesn't reply. You roll your eyes at his performance.

"That means it's 'confidential'.", you whisper into Yoosung's ear while making eye contact with Saeyoung and grinning.

“What encouraged Jumin to give you a day off, Jaehee?”, asked Zen as he eyeballed Jumin in a bitter way. Jaehee opens her mouth before Jumin cuts her off.

"Well, it is y/n’s birthday. One day wouldn’t hurt.", replies Jumin coolly. He's become a lot looser ever since he became friends with you. They've all felt their impact from you; a positive impact. You love your friends so much. You're secure with knowing they love you just as much. Saeyoung pulls up in front of the mall after a couple more conversations you have with your friends. He turns left to browse for empty spots and quickly turns right to occupy a spot that somebody else wanted. That person proceeded to flip off Saeyoung as he laughs. Yoosung screams with Zen as Jaehee holds onto you tightly and Jumin grasps his chair in alarm.

“That’s why you buckle up.” was all that came out of Saeyoung.

“Why would you do that?!”, shouted Zen.

“Global warming, Zen.”, Saeyoung replied.

“That makes no sense!”, was all that Zen said back. The door started sliding open from the push of a button on the ceiling. Your friends are organizing their money. Jumin sees you rounding up money, too.

"You know, usually the one who's having a birthday doesn't pay for their own gifts.", he points out while looking at your money.

"I know; it's just in case Yoosung has less money than he needs." you say, Yoosung pouting in your direction.

"Or if he ‘accidentally’ loses his money.", you hear Saeyoung say slyly. You shake your head and frown at him.

“Y/n, what does he mean?”, asks Yoosung. You decide to move on.

“I miss having our warm moments like this.”, you say. Yoosung is clearly upset at your choice to ignore his question. He crosses his arms.

"I’m surprised that you consider that rollercoaster ride warm.", inquires Jaehee, as you smile fondly.

“I do, honestly. Being silly and goofing around with you guys. Being a little dangerous. It means so much to me to have fun like we do.” You all exchange joyful looks.

The car beeps twice as you all walk towards the mall, Saeyoung putting his keys in his pocket. Going to lunch was the first decision; you all stop by a restaurant next to the mall. You, Saeyoung, and Jaehee all wanted takeout, but Yoosung, Jumin, and Zen disagreed. Eventually, Jaehee gave in and the decision was sitting down at a tidy restaurant to eat. It was an exquisite Japanese-style cuisine restaurant; as you walked in, the walls were a dark red and the floor had black wood boards. Lanterns were dimly lit throughout the rooms, and two ponds of koi were on your left and right. Behind the desk where there was a woman looking intently at you all was a large statue of Maneki-Neko. You were all taken to a large table in an area with only two people at another table in the room. Drinks were ordered, and a lingering silence hung over the table, demanding to be broken.

“So... my brother is coming home soon.”, said Saeyoung, trying to be gentle about it. You sighed.

You can't help but ask aloud, “What if he's still upset?”.

Jumin looked at you. "I'm not a professional on love, and it's obvious because my father never taught me the true meaning of it, but... when I see how he is with you, I know in my heart that he must be in love. Seeing your relationship truly taught me; how healthy it is and how much you rely on each other and how you look at each other. I'm sure all he cares about is hugging you and telling you how much he loves you." You looked at Jumin in awe of how expository he was. He was also very right. "Thank you.", you mouthed. 

The waitress came back to take your orders. Yoosung started off by telling her he wanted kushikatsu, a deep fried pork dish. It was plain, but it had its own nice flavor; a “family-friendly” food. Zen ordered yakitori, barbecued chicken that was put on a skewer; he also got a beer with it. It was a very physically appealing dish, but despite being covered in a mouth-watering sweet and spicy sauce, it was rather simple; the chicken under the layer is untouched. Jaehee ordered champon, known as semi-thick noodles served with vegetables and seafood in a chicken broth. A rather complex dish, with new flavors and surprises coming from all ends, despite seeming so ordinary. Jumin decided on ikura, which is salmon caviar that is pickled and salt cured. It may or may not look appealing from a distance; but once you get a taste of it, you can truly decide what you think of the rambunctious flavors on such a glamorous selection. Saeyoung ordered onigiri, which is just a ball of rice with a filling inside of it. You were not surprised. The dish is fluffy and light outside, but the contents are mysterious to anyone besides your friends. You had trouble deciding between two dishes, as your stomach decided on one but your heart decided the other. So you let your heart speak out as it ordered a maki-sushi. Sushi is very controversial; it is disliked by many for being raw but beauty is seen in it by some. Lunch was loud and chatty.

Joy filled the room every time when Jumin complained about the food, or Saeyoung cracked a joke, when Zen told a story, or when Jaehee commented witty remarks, when Yoosung or Zen questioned the logic of Saeyoung’s jokes, or when you replied to any comments and questions you desired to reply to. A game of ultra rock paper scissors was played after the bill was paid by Jumin. Yoosung won, therefore he got to take you to his store first.

Your friends trailed behind you two.

“So, where are we going, Yoosung?”, Jaehee polled.

“We’re going to Hot Topic.”, he said plainly. Your friends exchanged looks and started whispering amongst each other. You heard “ohhs” and “mmhmms”, but the rest was muffled.

“What’s going on?”, you asked the group. Yoosung pulled you away quickly to drag you into the store.

“I know you really like this store, so go crazy in it. I saved up money since last year for this.”, he said with a big smile on his face and bright eyes. You admired this boy so much.

“Thank you.”, you replied. You traced your steps towards the chokers, sighing sadly as you lifted one up. It reminded you of your lover. He wore chokers from time to time when you two went out. Sure, he would get teased for it, but you were always there for when he was. You decided to get matching chokers for him and you. One was white and had Yang on it, while the other was black and had Yin on it. You already had matching necklaces; his necklace is a heart with an empty spot the shape of a key and your necklace was the key. They were promise necklaces from before you guys got married. You couldn’t think of anybody but him while browsing the store. He has pale skin; his neck is slender and has a beauty mark under the ear. It’s sculpted just for chokers. The contrast of light and dark is beautiful on him; especially when he had purple hickeys on his neck just from you. The only things you really wanted from Hot Topic were black fishnet tights and the matching chokers. Yoosung protested against your modesty, but you insisted, saying that he should use the remaining money for student loans. Afterward, leaves were picked off a plant in the mall by you and held up for your group to pick.

Jumin got the longest leaf. He took you to Victoria’s Secret. Normally, this would be a very awkward thing, but the boys enjoyed looking at the collections. Zen even swore that he wanted to buy one of the sets for himself. Everyone knew he'd look much better in one than presumed. There was one piece that caught your eye. It had lace that provocatively covered the breasts, mid-stomach, and crotch. The lingerie you wore for your husband varied, but he usually preferred you didn’t wear it. If you did wear lingerie and played your cards right, you would have to throw out the lingerie the next day. So you decided to look at the simple bra and underwear sets. He really liked red and black, especially on you. You always thought he looked better in it, though. The aesthetic of his pale skin being enveloped by dark colors ran chills down your spine. You can’t stop your hands from reaching out towards a pair that was red with black lace. It had an open skin heart in between the cups of the bra and on the tailbone area of the underwear. You decided to get it, and moved to the perfumes and lipsticks. Normally, you never wore lipstick for sex because it always got messy, and sometimes perfume would make him cough if you used it. The taste isn't pleasant, either, if sprayed on the neck. After Jumin paid for your gift, Saeyoung rolls a dice that he brought with him “just in case”; Jaehee’s turn came up.

She took you to Mac cosmetics. You giggle as you remember the night that he and you decided to do each other’s makeup. He truly didn’t suck at it; while he was pretending not to enjoy it, he was hoping you’d like the job he did. You’re going through and looking at the eyeliners, picking up the black one that you bought for him one Christmas. He jumped up when he saw it, trying to keep his composure. He awkwardly handed his gift to you, and it ended up being the same type of eyeliner. It was adorable. You both agreed that the more eyeliners there are, the merrier life is. Neither of you could sleep that night, so you stayed up to watch “Where the Wild Things Are”, simply because Christmas movies were overrated. You fell asleep cuddling with him when the movie ended, dry tear marks on both yours and his face. Next thing you know, you’re at the cash register with Jaehee with a simple eyeliner tube in your hand, alongside maroon matte lipstick. A coin was flipped outside the store; Zen for heads and Saeyoung for tails. Zen won the round.

While you thought Jumin took you to a risque shop, Zen lead you straight to a store called Adam and Eve. You giggled quietly. Yoosung was very nervous, Zen and Jumin were mature about it, and Saeyoung ran into the store to “perform magic” using the “wands”. Yoosung raced after Saeyoung to stop him. While most people believed that your love was interested in BDSM, you and Saeyoung agreed that his past was too much for him to enjoy it. When you guys have sex, it’s full of love and passion, but never harm ( except maybe bite marks and hickeys ). You explore the store, stopping to inspect the assortments of flavored lube, only to see mint chocolate chip ice cream. Your heart stops. It’s his favorite food; he’d get it every night when you both felt adventurous and restless. You had long drives out those nights, sometimes ending with hand holding and eating ice cream while looking down at the city from a tall skyscraper. You hesitantly reach out for it, then grasp it. You take it with you towards the remote controlled vibrator section. You chose a red one. Then you got a cock ring for him. You decided it was time to try new things. Zen pays for your gift. Saeyoung is the only person left to take you to a store.

So what store does he choose? He chooses Spencer’s out of all places. You love Spencer’s, but he knows that his brother does too. In fact, Spencer’s is your husband’s favorite store. It was mainly because of the Donald Chump wind-up toy. Nostalgia hits you when you remember distinctly standing in front of the lava lamps with him as he told you that he’s never seen a lava lamp before. You weren’t able to buy one at the time because of bills, and the idea was lost over time. One time, he got kicked out for using the whips on _specific_ parts of the store. Saeyoung got kicked out too; he used the whip on his brother multiple times without his expecting it, alongside some strangers. While you were giggling, you picked up the green and red lava lamp that your partner had his eye on at the time. You also carried that Donald Chump toy, and a blanket. Saeyoung paid, and all your gifts were put in a singular large bag.

It was 7:39 by the time you all finished shopping. The time surprised you; you didn’t know that you stood in these stores for so long thinking, rather than buying tons of products. You were happy that you didn’t make your friends pay too much for you, and a little upset that they didn’t get to spoil you like they hoped to. You’re driven home by Saeyoung, and your friends get out of the car with you and go into your house, which is a mess. You did warn them. But, they knew what they were doing. They all helped out to clean the house as another birthday gift. It may seem silly to many, but sometimes just getting up can be hard. When they finish, they all give you a big hug before leaving. The car drives away as you realize that Saeyoung forgot to give you your cake. You look at all your gifts, reminiscing. Looking through the bag brings a great feeling of discomfort, almost anxiety. Everything you got reminded you of him. All you can do is sniffle and let tears stream down your face as you remember what happened.

You didn’t blame him. He was going to therapy and was actively suicidal every now and then. You didn’t expect to wake up to find him gone from his side of the bed at two in the morning. You gasped when you found him and caught him just in time as he was holding a rope in his hand and slinging it over the tree in your backyard. You both froze up.

“I’m doing it again, y/n. I’m so sorry.” was all he could choke out, tears running messily down his face as you ran towards him to hug him. You brought him inside to eat some of the ice cream leftovers from your nights out.

“I failed you.”, he said emptily.

“You didn’t fail me. Sometimes the pain hurts too much for us to care anymore. That’s not your fault.”, you said with a chalky voice and a sniffle. You sighed, holding him until he fell asleep, and in the morning you decided to call the authorities and explain to them that your husband is actively suicidal. They came over to take him to the E.R, where he’d be staying before being transferred to another hospital to be an inpatient. You couldn’t be there for him at the hospital, but Saeyoung managed to be able to talk to the staff there and work on his transference. You remember the pupils of your husband’s eyes getting smaller and his face getting redder as he was being taken away.

“How could you do this to me?”, were his last words to you. You came back to reality, sweaty palms and a running nose, with your bag slipping out of your hands. You blow your nose with the tissues that boasted a tissue box standing next to the Donald Chump toy. You go onto your computer to play a song. A car pulls up to your house. Saeyoung is back to give you your cake. The song started.

_Where’d you go?_

The door opens.

_Oh, I miss you so…_

You shake and sniffle.

_It seems like it’s been forever…_

_Since you’ve been gone._

You feel arms wrap around your stomach and a head lay flat on your shoulder.

“You know what this song reminds me of?”, you hear your husband’s voice say slowly and sadly. You zip around to see him, a smile and tears on both of your faces.

“God, you’re a mess. I’m a mess.”, he said.

“We’re both messes. I love you, Saeran.”, you replied, pulling him in close and kissing him, your heart swelling with a feeling long lost but never forgotten. You both pull away to hug. A moment came where you could take your environment in. Your husband is home. He is happy to see you. He loves you and is not angry at you. Your face is red and wet. His face is red and wet. Your heart is pumping loudly and quickly. Alongside your heartbeat, you could hear his. Your hearts were synced.

“I love you, too.”, he said, as you felt the vibrations in his chest as he spoke, his aquamarine eyes looking into yours as he moved your face towards his. You giggle like idiots. You peck his nose and his lips. He begs for more than a peck, but you teasingly pull your head back so the kisses don’t last longer than a second. Eventually, he sighs and pulls your head in so he gets more than a peck. He’s warm. You’re warm. Everything’s warm.

“I really want to thank you for knowing that you couldn’t help me and accepting that this could be the best thing. I may have been gone a year, but I learned a lot. You loved me enough to let me go. Thank you...so...much…”, he started sniffling.

You grabbed tissues and gave them to him, holding him close. He watched your hand, chuckling at the Donald Chump toy. He wound it up, and the toy started masturbating as it shouted in Trump’s voice.

“So they took you shopping.”, he said, inspecting the bag lying on the floor.

“Yes, they did.”, you replied.

“You didn’t buy much.”, he noted.

“No, I didn’t.”, you said with a chuckle.

“What did you buy?”, he asked.

“Anything that reminded me of you.”, you confessed.

He breathed in with a larger amount of air as his smile got wider, letting out a happy laugh. "I couldn't stop thinking about you, either.", he confessed back.

The house felt warmer. It looked more colorful. It seemed less quiet. Your heart was beating loudly as you held his hand under the blanket you bought today while watching “Where the Wild Things Are”. Your blood was running, your brain was working, and you were functioning. No, you weren’t cured, and you knew it, but it felt that way. Like nothing could go wrong. You weren’t afraid of the shadows and noises anymore. You weren’t empty. You couldn’t care less if somebody broke in; as long as they didn’t interrupt this moment. Who knew that one person could do this to you?

All these years you thought love was a mental illness. It affected your thinking process, your daily life, your familial and platonic relationships, and caused so many mood swings and instabilities. It took you some time to learn that a healthy love was actually a cure, rather than the illness itself. You felt secure in knowing you were in love with the most supportive and amazing person on the planet. The movie was coming to an end and Saeran was the first out of you two to start crying.

“You’re a sap”, you say as a tear runs down your face.

“No. You’re a sap.”, he says.

“Nuh-uh. I love you.”, you reply.

“I love you more.”

“I love you most.”

“I love you more than the maximum capacity.”

You pout in defeat. He can’t help but snicker at your pout.

“Do you want to get ice cream?”, he asks.

“Actually...I have something better than ice cream.” you purred. He caught on, turning into a tomato as you picked up your bag and held his hand, pulling him up the stairs.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending of this story seems to lead into-if you didn't already know-smut. Fortunately, I am currently working on this smut. The date of publication is not guaranteed.  
> The song played towards the end is "Where'd You Go?" by Fort Minor. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD REMOVE THESE LYRICS; I'M TOO YOUNG AND UNEDUCATED TO GET SUED.


End file.
